All men are misogynists. All men are pieces of shit. I’m scared of all men. I’m distrustful of all men. I hate all men.
All men expect me to take the time to say “not all men are pieces of shit”, but none of them are willing to fight for my rights, none of them want to clean the machismo off their language, none of them is defending the women in their lives, none of them stands up to other men, none of them suffer what we suffer.
They want me to worry over whether my “I hate all men” hurts their feelings but they don’t care about the state of everlasting terror in which I live, in which we live.
I hate all men because, out of around fifty women that I know well, forty –like me– have been assaulted or almost assaulted. Because I don’t know a single woman that –like me– hasn’t been yelled at, threatened or followed on the street. Because I know multiple women that –like me– had to quit their jobs due to sexual harassment.
Because a professor tries to rape a girl in the Natural Sciences Department at my University and the Rector asks her not to press charges, because the professor’s career is more important that the student’s safety. Because at the Law Department in my hometown’s University, only the women deemed “pretty” by professors can pass the final tests. Because, even if you can get your degree in spite of the sexism and harassment, breaking into male-dominated fields is near impossible and the women who do get in are only faced [with more sexism and harassment].
Because, if you’re a woman with an uterus, no doctor wants to sterilize you, just in case your “natural instinct” kicks in and makes you want to be a mother later in life. Because, if you don’t die trying to have a clandestine abortion, you might get jailed for having a miscarriage, or your boyfriend might kill you for being pregnant. Because, if you get through the pregnancy without becoming one of the 20% of pregnant people who die during childbirth, your doctor might force you to have a c-section instead of allowing you give birth naturally.
Because there are thousands of cases of gynecologists raping their patients, yet “rapist gynecologist” is a porn genre. Because you might get raped to get cured of lesbianism but lesbians are also a porn category. And a man being attracted to a trans woman is degrading, yet trans girls are, too, a porn genre.
Because existing as a trans woman is a death sentence, because trans girls in Argentina don’t live past 35, because [the local government thinks they are sick and should be forcibly institutionalized], because trans women often can’t get any job besides sex work yet, when they are killed by their clients or the police, it’s their fault because they were sex workers.
Because that girl dying every thirty hours is not just a girl. Every time we read the headlines, we are that girl. Not our cousins, daughters, sisters, mothers. The fear is ours. Runs under our skins. It’s constant horror.
Because I often say “I don’t like nightclubs” because it’s easier to say “I don’t dare drink at clubs in fear someone might spike my drink, but I can’t deal with the constant harassment sober”. Because I say “I’d love to travel, but when I’m older” when what I really mean is “I know traveling alone as a woman would get me killed, and I don’t want to die just yet”. Because I explain “biking everywhere is healthier” instead of saying “walking back home at night is terrifying”.
Because I say “I hate men” when what I really mean is “I’m tired, exhausted, terrified, I can’t breathe, I’m always looking over my shoulder, I’m always trying to read between the lines in whatever joke my male friends make because they often sound like threats, I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared”.
Because often, the entirety of my energy is spent in trying to walk on the street without bursting into tears or starting to yell when a man yells something disgusting at me, yet guys expect me to use my time and dedicate my efforts in reminding them that they are not sexist, that they are not the problem, that they don’t make me feel threatened, that I don’t think they are potential rapists.
Because those excepts, those who are not, they don’t need to ask. They should know already that they put all of their efforts into defending, listening to and uplifting the women in their lives. The ones that need to ask… well, they know they are not doing enough to not be a part of that “all”.
I hate all men. I’m tired, and I hate all men.